Many of us have trouble with trust as it relates to relationships. Some of us have experienced trust as an all or nothing kind of thing. I either trust you completely or not at all. Some of us believe that certain relationships need to include trust regardless of our experience within the relationship. Many of us have never stop to reflect about our experiences with others and how that affects our ability to trust ourselves as well as others.

So what does trust mean?

Trust to me, is the experience we share with someone else, not what we think about how the relationship, or the hope that we have that it will become something else. Trust is feeling safe with another person both physically and emotionally. Trust is something that people build together when they decide to trust each other. Trust is something we offer others when we listen to what they need and we trust ourselves to give them what they need.

In healthy relationships both partners trust each other, as they are able to be vulnerable and hold the vulnerability of the other. Trust is something that builds with time and is measured by experiences.

Make a list of the people you trust and think about the qualities of these relationships. Do these qualities align with your ability to feel open and vulnerable? Connect to the feeling you get when you think of these people and not to what you think the relationship is or can be in the future.

By – Estela